Note: This is satirical.
The people around here are generally friendly to a fault. How could being friendly ever be seen as a fault? Well, there are times when I wish my super-friendly neighbor wouldn’t yell, “Hey, girl!” at the top of her lungs.
For instance, at seven o’clock in the morning, when I’m trying to sneak outside to put the garbage on the street while wearing no makeup, pajama pants, a ratty t-shirt, and a lopsided ponytail. Your shriek in my direction has now riled all of the dogs in the neighborhood, which has alerted the nosy neighbor (you know who you are), who has now called the cops, who respond lights and sirens to break up the “altercation”, who laugh at me for standing in the street wearing my pajama pants, ratty t-shirt, and lopsided ponytail. A simple, “Hey, girl!” has now set off a horrid chain of events that nearly landed me in jail! If you’re worried about being rude, a simple head nod in my direction is perfectly acceptable.
Or, how about when I’m trying to rush in and out of the store? Never fails. Someone’s going to yell out, “Hey, girl!”, which will draw the attention of dozens, who will undoubtebly ask a plethora of questions.
“Ya’ll doin’ okay over there?”
“How’s your momma and them?”
This segues to, “What are ya’ll doing for supper?”
And finally, “What else ya’ll got planned for the day?”
My two minute tampon run has now turned into a twenty minute town hall session. But, it’s okay. It’s just one of those things I love about Louisiana. 🙂